An Introduction to Masturbation

You may have heard the terms “wanking yourself off” or “fingering yourself” depending on if there’s a penis or vagina involved. These acts are simply methods of masturbation. If you’d like to define masturbation, it’s the act of genital stimulation, with the goal typically being to achieve orgasm. Masturbation with a penis usually involves the use of either one or two hands on the erect penis. With a vagina, there can be slightly more variation, however, using one or two fingers to stimulate the clitoris is fairly commonplace.

As there is quite a bit of stigma around the act of masturbation, and the fact that it isn’t exactly an ideal talking point for casual conversation, you may be in the dark when it comes to understanding how common masturbation is.

According to our Global Sex Survey, where we interviewed nearly 30,000 people on their sex lives, around 61% of participants reported that they currently masturbate or self-pleasure. Also, around 10% claimed to have never masturbated, so if you’ve never tried it, don’t worry because you’re not alone.¹

Mutual masturbation is the act of masturbating together with your partner. If you’ve never tried it before, it may sound a little dull and not exactly something to be excited about bringing into your foreplay routine, but it can be a really great way to build intimacy. Not only this but seeing how your partner likes to pleasure themselves can be a great way to learn what they like, and how they like to be touched to help bring them to climax.

Why not try sitting cross-legged in front of each other whilst you masturbate mutually? The great thing about this is that you both have a closeup view of what your partner is doing which can be a real turn-on. From this position, you can also easily lean forward for a passionate kiss to really heighten the excitement and build the passion.

You know what they say, practise makes perfect! The best way to get the most out of your self-love is to learn what feels good for you. To get started, simply find yourself some quiet time and experiment with what feels good. Just be sure to do it safely and ensure you don’t do anything that feels uncomfortable.

If you’re looking for masturbation guidance, why not try asking a friend that you’re comfortable with if they have any tips? They may be able to give you a few pointers to get the most out of your ‘me time’.

Already mastered the art of self-stimulation but looking to get more out of it? You can really take it to the next level with some carefully applied lubricant. Can you masturbate with lube? Hell, yes! Do you need lube to masturbate? Well, it’s not a necessity but it can make it a lot more pleasurable. You might find that after adding lubricant for masturbation, you never go back to masturbating without it.

Any one of our lubes should do the trick, regardless of whether you have a penis or vagina. Our Durex Perfect Glide Silicon Lubricant, for example, is easy to apply and can feel great on your penis when you touch it and get into a rhythm. Once applied, our lubes reduce the friction between your hand or finger and your genitals, opening you up to the world of incredible sensations.

Have more questions when it comes to the world of masturbation? Check out our quick-fire FAQs where we answer some of the most commonly asked questions about the act of self-love:

Is masturbation harmful?

In short, no, masturbation is not harmful. Provided you are masturbating in a safe and natural way, and that your masturbation isn’t getting in the way of your day-to-day life, it’s a perfectly natural and healthy thing to do.

Should I feel ashamed when I masturbate?

At times, you might feel a bit awkward about touching yourself, but there's no need to. Masturbation is completely natural and is thought to have a few benefits for the body too. Getting to know yourself better through masturbation could even help you feel more sexually confident.

How can I stop thinking masturbating is bad?

There’s no easy way to fix this but it’s important to re-frame how you think of masturbation; it’s essentially an act of self-care, it’s good for your health and it is a great way to look after your mental health. When you’re with friends, try discussing masturbation to break down some of the stigma. This may help you feel more comfortable about the act itself.

Does masturbation reduce the amount of sperm I have?

To put it plainly, masturbation does not reduce sperm count. The idea that masturbating too much permanently depletes sperm stores is a classic masturbation myth. The testicles replenish sperm following ejaculation so there is no need to worry about running out. So, don’t let the concern of running out of sperm stop you from pleasuring yourself. If you are concerned about ejaculating for any reason, you can still pleasure yourself without climaxing – just enjoy the sensations.

Why am I struggling to climax when I masturbate?

Not everyone is always able to climax and it’s perfectly normal to struggle sometimes, particularly if you’re not feeling like yourself. Some people find it difficult to orgasm due to psychological factors, for example if they’re feeling stressed from work. Physical factors like drug or alcohol use can also affect your ability to climax. Additionally, health conditions, and a number of commonly used medications have all been known to contribute to difficulty orgasming for men. If you’re worried about not being able to climax, it’s a good idea to speak to your doctor.

Is it cheating if I masturbate whilst I’m in a relationship?

Our immediate response to this answer is a big, resounding no. If you’ve agreed to be monogamous with your partner, that’s to be respected but it shouldn’t rule out a bit of masturbation. It doesn’t detract from being in a committed relationship and, if anything, could enrich you and your partner’s sex life in the long run.

How can I integrate mutual masturbation into my sex life with my partner?

A bit of mutual masturbation can be a great way of spicing things up in the bedroom and can mark a new level of intimacy. As mentioned, it’s a great way of learning how your partner likes to be touched and helps to build up the passion. All you need to do to get started is ask if your partner’s up for it. If they’re shy or nervous, you can start off and then invite them to join you. Throw in some eye contact to dial up the intimacy and build the heat until you can’t keep your hands off them any longer.

Should I masturbate with a condom?

Well, that’s up to you and what you enjoy. But it’s always worth exploring and trying different things out when it comes to jerking off. If you’re into using toys when you pleasure yourself, condoms can be useful for keeping everything hygienic. There isn’t special ‘masturbating condoms’, but most condoms can be used for masturbation, especially if you add some lube.

Do sex toys make masturbation better?

Each person is different, but some people do find that sex toys can maximise their pleasure. When shopping, it’s worth thinking about your sexual needs and what toy might best suit them. Women who enjoy clitoral stimulation might be best served by a vibrator, for example.

How do you masturbate in the bath or shower?

The bath or the shower are popular places for a bit of self-love — largely because they represent a rare window of peace and quiet in your daily routine. If you are masturbating in the shower, avoid using shower gel as it can be an irritant for the more delicate areas.

How many calories does masturbation burn?

We’re all familiar with the idea that sex can help burn calories, but can masturbation do the same? Unfortunately, there is little evidence to suggest normal masturbation has a significant effect on calorie burning, so it’s probably not worth incorporating it into your workout routine.

Masturbation is a healthy and natural way of releasing stress and pleasuring yourself. If you’d like to indulge in some self-pleasure, there’s no shame in it – just make sure you’re comfortable with what you’re doing and don’t be afraid to explore your body. When you’re ready, take it to the next level by adding in some Durex lubricant for added masturbation sensations. Whether it’s alone or with somebody, masturbation can be just what you need to heighten your sexual awakening and deepen your relationship with yourself, as well as your partner.

Want to read more about all things sex? Head over to our Explore Sex blog today where we discuss everything from oral sex to learning to orgasm together.

1. Data on file. Durex Global Sex Survey.

This article is for general information only and not intended as a substitute for medical advice.

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